Pushing forward

2004 was the year gay and lesbian Americans came close to realizing the reality of marriage only to have it yanked away by ballot initiatives and a bile filled President. Massachusetts, San Francisco, and Multnomah County Oregon all plowed ahead in the spirit of equal rights. With their last demon about to be dispelled, the Right sprung into action. Phyllis Schlaflay brushed off her hate playbook and went to work. When the dust settled, gays, lesbians, and progressives were soundly outworked. Act Up went so far as to suggest the struggle for gay rights was over.

Like all gay Americans I was encouraged by the promise of equal access to marriage and the rights and benefits associated with marriage. I tempered my hope with the reality that America at large was not ready for gays and lesbians getting married (even though most Americans believe gays and lesbians shouldn't be discriminated against) and the gay activist community was not ready for the marriage fight. Instead of pushing furiously for marriage I always believed we would have used our energy and resources better if we pushed to expand the states prohibiting discrimination against gays and lesbians.



Shockingly, only 13 states (light purple) have blanket prohibitions against discrimination against gays and lesbains. Even Washington is without the most basic protection. Since the mid 1970's, Washington has been trying to pass basic anti discrimination legislation. Each time, the legislation has failed. This year, Washington may finally pass legislation banning discrimination founded on sexual orientation. Until only recently, Illinois was one of the states without blanket protections. This map underscores the depth and breadth of work left to do. Its easy to be dejected. Marriage was a reality in some places. Realtionships all over the country were about to be legitimized. Yet, in most of America legalized discrimination is the reality.

Access to marriage is a laudable goal and will become a reality sometime. Other countries are begining to warm to the idea of allowing gays and lesbians to marry (Canada, Spain, New Zealand, etc.) and eventually so will the United States. Instead of fretting about the big picture, reaching for marriage but failing we need battles we can win. Winning will build our political clout. Winning is practical and necessary. Until we win we will never be ready for the marriage fight and the ultimate responsibility that comes with having the right to marry. The potential of possibility is nice, but it's no substitute for reality. Broad support and acceptance of marriage will never be a reality until we 1) successfully socialize the country and 2) have victories which legitimize gay and lesbians in other ways.

Right now, we need to look around the country take note. In Iowa, the Supreme Court heard arguments on whether or not a District Court Judge could dissolve a civil union solemnized in Vermont. Even though the War on Terrorism is raging, the US military still prohibits gay Americans from serving openly even when they offer valuable skills (like being fluent in Arabic.) A year ago, Burlington, Iowa and Bettendorf, Iowa were both struggling with whether or not to include sexual orientation in their civil rights codes. Illinois just passed legislation prohibiting discrimination against gays and lesbians. Hopefully, Washington won't be too far behind. Washington will even be examining the constitutionality of its Defense of Marriage law. These issues aren't as exciting as legalizing marriage, but they are fundamental.

Every civil rights movement has moved in fits and spurts. The struggle against racial discrimination began at our nation's inception, hit a high point with the emancipation of slaves, plummeted with the rise of the KKK and laws aimed at restricting African Americans, found success in the 1960's and continues today as African Americans push to eradicate the the unfortunate connections between poverty, race, opportunity, and imprisonment while clinging to basic concepts like Affirmative Action.

Americans and gay and lesbians will be better with a little struggle and disappointment. The gay rights movement is relatively young. Begun in 1969, its roughly only 35 years old. In 35 short years we have come a long way. Sexual orientation has been decriminalized, HIV/AIDS has been attacked vigorously, criminal sodomy laws were overturned, and states and municipalities are gradually embracing anti discrimination measures. If human history is a guide, every victory will bring about challenges and opportunities. Marriage might seem like the end point, but really its just the begining. Once we get marriage, the entire box of civil family law will be opened. If marriage isn't daunting enough, imagine trying to square every family permutation with the laws of each and every state. When we get there, I am sure we'll be ready.